Labor Day has gotten me thinking back to the days when I had a “conventional” day job.
Back to when I used to work 40, 50, 60+ hours a week and LOVED it! I LOVED my job to say the least! I truly was one of those people that was so proud of who and what I worked for. Which leads me to why I am writing this blog, the end of my “conventional” day job and who I have become since.
Back in March of 2013, I experienced one of the toughest days of my life. I had to leave what I considered at the time to be my true passion; what I considered to be my world; what I lived for, breathed for and what I needed in order to survive… my JOB. I was forced to move on in my life due to my Multiple Sclerosis and other serious illnesses. I most certainly didn’t want to, but realized that I didn’t have a choice. I had to move on in order to live, no question about it, I was quite literally killing myself.
I am going to spare you the details of me leaving and what exactly occurred. Lets fast forward a bit… after I had left and gotten into living the day-to-day at home, I quickly discovered how much time there truly is in a day. I mean really, there is only so much laundry one can do, and trust me, I had the most organized closet going and not a dirty piece of ANYTHING! I was grasping at straws for things to do, I sewed, cooked, baked, I even joined the quilting guild in the area near me. I just needed something to do in order to find my identity. I felt stripped of what was ME.
Which brings me to my next “ah-ha” moment…
I quickly discovered that the first question that people ask when they meet you was, “What do you do?”, to which I simply didn’t know how to answer. I had lost me. I didn’t know who I was anymore without my job. Silly as this sounds, I really felt so lost and depressed. Then, for a long time, I would answer that I was disabled or retired, both of which couldn’t have been further from how I really felt. I didn’t know what to say.
It has taken a lot of time, soul searching and support, but I have discovered that when people ask me, “What do you do?” I say what I really feel, that I am an artist. I thought I was making a BIG career change, but I have realized, that I have always been an artist. The Contractor has helped me become aware that your true passion should lie within, it shouldn’t be a job, or a person, it should be YOU and what makes you happy. For me, yes, my family and friends make me happy, but what undeniably always makes me feel good and NEVER makes me upset, is my art. I am always happy being an artist. It is in my soul and is just who I am. My spirit is no longer broken. I am no longer lost.
Happy soul searching friends.
That’s it for now
~ Kristen ~